In recent years, increased public awareness of neurodivergence, trauma, and personality psychology has led to a growing use of diagnostic and quasi-diagnostic language in everyday contexts. While this has offered validation and vocabulary to many, it has also contributed to confusion, misidentification, and stigma—particularly where autistic traits, ADHD-related patterns, trauma responses, and narcissistic-style behaviours overlap in outward presentation. This paper explores the conceptual, clinical, and ethical challenges involved in distinguishing these patterns, arguing that superficial behavioural similarity often obscures fundamentally different underlying mechanisms, motivations, and developmental trajectories.

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Drawing on contemporary psychological and psychiatric literature, the paper examines how neurodevelopmental differences, trauma-related adaptations, and narcissistic self-esteem protection can each shape interpersonal behaviour, emotional regulation, and self-perception. Particular attention is given to the role of trauma as a confounding factor that may intensify or mask traits across domains, as well as to the bidirectional risk of mislabelling—both the pathologisation of neurodivergent individuals as narcissistic, and the adoption of neurodivergent identities by individuals seeking refuge from shame or relational difficulty.

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In response to these complexities, the paper proposes a pattern-based, non-diagnostic framework that prioritises mechanisms over labels and supports ethical self-reflection. It outlines principles for the development of a reflective questionnaire designed to explore alignment with neurodivergent, trauma-related, and narcissistic-style patterns without encouraging premature diagnosis or moral judgement. The paper concludes by situating such tools as adjuncts to psychoeducation and therapeutic exploration, emphasising the importance of nuance, compassion, and intellectual humility in contemporary discussions of identity and mental health.